It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
