I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
