when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
