just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
