This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
