He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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