She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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