My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
