she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
