so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
