turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
