You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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