Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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