i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
