why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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