I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
