Christians are straight up FREAKS
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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