I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
