so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
