Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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