yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
