She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
