If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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