I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
