how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
