some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
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