ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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