He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
