Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
its liver damage thursday
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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