Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
