You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
