i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
