Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
