i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
