I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Randomize
