It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
