currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
