So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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