You just made me feel so damn special
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Randomize
