did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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