It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
