Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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