So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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