We're facebook friends in real life
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
my poor anus
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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