dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
