Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
he quoted the bible to break up with me
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
