U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
