ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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