I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
