operation harelip BJ is a go
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
