I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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