first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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