One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
